The analogy is based on the idea that you have a collection of jars which represent your relationships with every person you have ever met. These jars appear when you first meet and then exist forevermore after that.
We all have a massive cupboard of jars each with varying amounts of marbles in them. We even have these with the students we teach.
In order to fully buy into the marble jar analogy it is important recognize the power of these jars. The volume of marbles in each jar can be used to represent levels of trust, respect, credibility or the general health of a relationship. The more marbles there are, the stronger the attribute or relationship.
Trust, respect, credibility and relationship health are just some of the reasons why people work either effectively or ineffectively with others. Although simplistic, you could say that people work better with and work harder for people who have lots of marbles in their relationship jar.
Trust, respect, integrity and relationship health are built slowly!
Every interaction with another person is either the addition of a marble(s) or the removal of them! (growth or erosion of the above attributes)
Adding Marbles - any positive interaction is usually a marble in the jar but more obvious ones include, empathising, keeping commitments, apologising, complementing and helping. It is important to not overlook the smaller interactions such as smiling, knowing someone's name, holding a door etc as these also add marbles to the jar.
Removing Marbles - marbles come out of the jar when the above don't happen and the number of marbles removed matches the perceived severity of the negative interaction. Common withdrawals not mentioned above include public humiliation, disloyalty, blaming and arrogance.
Differentiated Marbles - we need to appreciate that an action is not always seen the same way by different people. A deposit for one person may be a withdrawal from another and deposits may have differing levels of impact between people. This is why we need to invest in understanding our students, friends, colleagues and family which it itself is a deposit.
Proactively deposit marbles in each of your jars and you will reap the benefits of stronger, more effective relationships.
