During a meeting or even just when you're talking with a friend, have you ever stopped and realised you don't really know what's being said? If so you're not alone! While you may be interested in the topic being discussed, your mind can still drift off and think about other things.
Our minds can often wander from the here and now and stop you from actually focusing on what is being said.
Active listening is a key skill to building relationships, solving problems, checking understanding and avoiding conflict.
Active listening requires the listener to fully concentrate, understand, respond and remember what is being said. You must make a conscious effort to hear and understand the complete message being spoken, rather than just passively hearing the message of the speaker. There is a difference between hearing and listening.
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Our ‘personal filters,’ assumptions, judgements and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to truly engage with what is being said. Some studies have suggested that the average person only remembers 25% of what someone has told them only a few minutes prior to being asked.
Don't get distracted! You have to be in the present moment to fully absorb what is being said. Listening without judgement and without trying to mentally plan your response is one of the most difficult things to do.
'Mindful' listening is a technique that requires you to give your full focus to the person who is talking. The aim is to stop running your thoughts so that you can truly hear the message that is being shared with you.
Try asking someone how their day or week has gone, and giving them 3 minutes to talk to you. Don't ask any further questions, just give them the time and your attention. Afterwards both of you should reflect on the experience. Then swap roles and do it again.
Reflective Questions
